Dear kvq, I have a suggestion in reference to the letter itself.
How about changing every sentence which says "you" to an "I" sentence. This way, you are only describing how you feel (have felt). I believe that you do have a right to your own feelings and to express them. In fact, I believe that it is necessary, because keeping it bottled up will make us ill. (how, when and where is another story, of course).
I say, just think about what you want to do with the letter. I believe the letter is more for you, anyway. And, I think this is o.k.-- because taking care of yourself is what is going to help you toward healing.
I could have written many parts of that letter, myself.
sincerely, dandylion