thanks. sadly he is not in any program yet. he has insisted this entire week that he going to try and get into a rehab but i suppose actions speak louder than words. i still am hoping that he will do it. i dont know how much more it would take. i guess as much as im hoping i get the chance to read this to him when he is in recovery i also wrote it for myself... to help cope. i want so badly to think that he will become himself again one day but right now he is still that monster. i recently disconnected my phone and am no longer in contact with him.