Audrey1

Thanks, Katiekate. This is a sick situation. I haven't gone into much detail, but what has happened with this family and continues to happen is horribly disturbing. They are all so enmeshed in each other's lives that other member's problems instantly become ours. And everyone is a mess as a result. I am frustrated that it is making me a mess too as I was previously a very strong person. I was able to identify dysfunction and avoid it.

But RABF can't choose his family. He is largely oblivious as to the extent of how sick everything is, but didn't live in this country for a long time on account of what happened with his parents and the general mentality of the people who live in this particularly isolated town. There's an awful lot of alcoholism here.

This is one of the reasons we have been trying to leave and are in the process of applying for his visa to my country. We met in a third country and I had no indication of how bad things were here. His drinking was there before, but I never really realised how bad it was until we got here. It basically skyrocketed.

I know things will be much better when we are away from here and this nonsense, but I just hope he can get rid of the sickness in him and we can both become strong people again.