You're not losers. You're loving parents in a terrible situation. No one can truly tell you what to do, but you can gain insight from the wisdom on these pages. Your son seems to be able to get around when he needs to. He stayed out all night the other night. Managed to get to your house from the hospital. Addicts are the world's best manipulators. They can be very resourceful when they want to be. Just remember: You didn't cause it, you can't control it, and you can't cure it. Focus on what is best for your health and the health of your family. The answers will come.
Prayers to you this Christmas.