Hope-Way to go on resisting that urge! I do as you, when the urge strikes...think it through. I am now starting to see real progress and I'm feeling "mentally and emotionally stronger" too. It's taken 3 1/2 months of sobriety to get to where I am right now and
I know that as long as I stay sober and make the necessary changes on myself, I will only continue to get better. "Life" will always have it's ups and downs...we can't change that, but, when we change ourselves, "we can conquer the world!"
WWG-The only thing that I can say is...When you are
truly ready to stop drinking you will. Most of us have to reach "rock bottom" before we make the decision that we are
willing to do whatever it takes to gain sobriety. It took me almost 2 years to get to that point. My drinking became so out of contol that I knew that if I didn't do something, I would end up losing everything and everyone I love and/or dead.
I also feared being sober, but my fear of staying a drunk was stronger. I didn't know how to be a sober person. I'm learning though and I'm finding I stay active and busy
sober, in fact I have so much to do I don't have enough time to do it.
I go to AA meetings alot and surround myself with "sober" drunks. They understand me like no non alcoholic could and share their experiences of recovery. I get hints and tips and an insight into myself. I use all I learn "from others" as tools to help me succeed.
I have found what WORKS for me and I work it. You have to find what works for you
and work it too.
Keep on searching,reading, posting, and learning about your/our disease. When the determination you need to stop drinking does occur, the tools you have stored up will be ready for use. Good luck!