Gringo

I don't know where to begin. I was sober for about 6 years and met a woman about a year ago that I fell in love with. We got married about 2 months ago and things were going fine until right before Thanksgiving. I found something out that caused a big fight between us and for some reason I want out and bought vodka and got wasted. I came home and said some really nasty things to her and she has left because of it.

I didn't see her for a week as she was staying at her sisters. I spent my time drinking and missing her and regretting my actions. well 1 Friday night 2 cops came to serve me with a injunction. I was drunk out of my skull after drinking almost a quart of vodka and really didn't know exactly what was going on except that they wanted me to leave. I remember calling somebody to come pick me up but that was about all I could do I could barely sit up in bed. I don't even remember what they were telling me. The police report says I ignored their commands to leave the house so they could give me a ride to a store to wait for my friend. All of that I remember was that I couldn't sit up and I laid back down in my bed. Well I was arrested for breaking an injunction for failing to leave immediately when they told me to and resisting arrest without violence that charge was added on for the same reason.

anyway I bailed out of jail and had to go to court for the injunction hearing. While she testified that there was no physical violence she said I threatened her. The injunction was granted by the judge. It meant no contact. Well the very next day I get drunk and leave her a voice mail. the next morning the cops were at the door where I am staying and arrested me again for breaking the injunction. I bailed out of jail again the next day.

knowing that I screwed the pooch and lost my wife and had significant legal problems that I had to face I went out and bought 3 pints of Rum and drank them and then took about 90 robaxin pills to try to kill myself. The person that I am staying with found me and called an ambulance. I was taken to the hospital and stabilized and then sent to a facility for 3 days so I could be mentally evaluated. They didn't really evaluate me as we just had group talk and colored pictures for Christmas. I was then let back out.

I have been out since Sunday Dec 16th and have not been drinking and actually made it to work yesterday.

So after 6 years of sobriety I lost everything and life as I know it is over because I drank again. I have no one to blame but myself but I am devastated and my future is bleak.

I work as a security guard so I'm sure as soon as the information comes out about the 2 arrests for violating the injunction I will lose my job. I cannot stay with my friend forever as she has problems of her own so homelessness is also a bleak possibility.

I have heard through several sources that there is no way that my wife will ever consider reconciling with me. I wouldn't expect her to as I said some pretty vile things to her when I was drunk.

I just don't know where to go from here and I am scared.