Gringo

I don't know where to begin. I was sober for about 6 years and met a woman about a year ago that I fell in love with. We got married about 2 months ago and things were going fine until right before Thanksgiving. I found something out that caused a big fight between us and for some reason I want out and bought vodka and got wasted. I came home and said some really nasty things to her and she has left because of it.

I didn't see her for a week as she was staying at her sisters. I spent my time drinking and missing her and regretting my actions. well 1 Friday night 2 cops came to serve me with a injunction. I was drunk out of my skull after drinking almost a quart of vodka and really didn't know exactly what was going on except that they wanted me to leave. I remember calling somebody to come pick me up but that was about all I could do I could barely sit up in bed. I don't even remember what they were telling me. The police report says I ignored their commands to leave the house so they could give me a ride to a store to wait for my friend. All of that I remember was that I couldn't sit up and I laid back down in my bed. Well I was arrested for breaking an injunction for failing to leave immediately when they told me to and resisting arrest without violence that charge was added on for the same reason.

anyway I bailed out of jail and had to go to court for the injunction hearing. While she testified that there was no physical violence she said I threatened her. The injunction was granted by the judge. It meant no contact. Well the very next day I get drunk and leave her a voice mail. the next morning the cops were at the door where I am staying and arrested me again for breaking the injunction. I bailed out of jail again the next day.

knowing that I screwed the pooch and lost my wife and had significant legal problems that I had to face I went out and bought 3 pints of Rum and drank them and then took about 90 robaxin pills to try to kill myself. The person that I am staying with found me and called an ambulance. I was taken to the hospital and stabilized and then sent to a facility for 3 days so I could be mentally evaluated. They didn't really evaluate me as we just had group talk and colored pictures for Christmas. I was then let back out.

I have been out since Sunday Dec 16th and have not been drinking and actually made it to work yesterday.

So after 6 years of sobriety I lost everything and life as I know it is over because I drank again. I have no one to blame but myself but I am devastated and my future is bleak.

I work as a security guard so I'm sure as soon as the information comes out about the 2 arrests for violating the injunction I will lose my job. I cannot stay with my friend forever as she has problems of her own so homelessness is also a bleak possibility.

I have heard through several sources that there is no way that my wife will ever consider reconciling with me. I wouldn't expect her to as I said some pretty vile things to her when I was drunk.

I just don't know where to go from here and I am scared.

ReadyAndAble

I am so sorry to hear that, but you've come to the right place. Lots of understanding about addiction here, the damage that it causes.

You'll also find examples of folks who emerged from the bleakest corners of addiction—in jails, on the streets, mental hospitals, suicide watch, all of the above and more—and went on to live lives that are nothing short of inspirational.

You're alive, you're here—that's a helluva good start. Don't give up on yourself; that's the key to it all. It doesn't get better overnight, but it does get better. You can count on it, ghostman.

Sapling

What were you doing that kept you sober for six years?

Gringo

I guess I didnt have any significant drama in my life for those six years and I worked a lot.

Mulch

Hey there, Ghost. You will get through this. When it's so overwhelming, it's hard to see what options and choices are actually out there for you. If I were you, I would make an appt. with (a) a lawyer and make a plan to get through the legal stuff .. and (b) see a counsellor to get on board with a personal plan ... and go from there. Hang onto your sobriety and focus on the positives - and there are always positives ... you didn't harm anyone, including yourself, being an important one for starters. Life will go on and you will settle into a plan. And good for you for not drinking now. ((hugs))

Gringo

Thank you Mulch. I do not have money for a lawyer so I am relying on a public defender. I guess thats as good as no lawyer.

Sapling

I just came back from a meeting...A lady spoke how she just relapsed after 16 years...She was busted up....But back at it. I'm sorry for what you are going through. I don't know what your feelings are on AA....But it wouldn't be a bad time to be around some people in recovery.....No reason to be alone right now.

raja12

That's quite an accomplishment, 6 years. I'm in no position 2 offer advice, as I'm a newbie here. But just wanted 2 say I'm so sorry what happened to you. Drama is a big trigger for me as well. I fight with issues everyday. But coming to realize that its up to me how I choose to react to them. This puts the situation at hand in a different light. Instead of punishing myself for things I have no control over,or things I can't change. I hope things look up for you. Hang in there. Remember the old saying. Its always darkest before the dawn.

Anna

I'm sorry that you're going through this. Do you have a lawyer to represent you? It would be a good idea to get some legal help if you can. And, do you have any support emotionally? Counselling might be a good idea to help you through this.

Gringo

All I have is a public defender and I cant afford counseling. I am going to a AA meeting tomorrow though.

pipparina

I'm really sorry to hear what you are going through. You've come to a supportive place to read and post.

Stay away from the alcohol. You will get through this but you need to stay sober.

Sapling

That's good....just being around people that have been where you are...I was flat ass broke when I went to my first meeting....These people get it.

Mulch

Hey Ghost .. I'm not sure where you are, but here (Canada) there is counselling available that is covered under Health Care (gov't). I didn't know it was available until someone in AA mentioned their counsellor. Maybe there is something similar where you are? ... Also, do you have anything like "Legal Aid" ? .... Anyway, just thought I'd mention those - they're types of things that I didn't know about until recently.

Dee74

I'm sorry for your situation ghostman - but you've found a great place for support and understanding.

welcome aboard

D

Gringo

Thank you everyone.

Hevyn

I want to welcome you too, ghostman. I hope being here will help relieve your anxiety a little. At least you know we all understand how you feel.

I'm sorry for all that you've been through. Maybe if the people at work understand that you're committed to staying sober they won't be hard on you. After all, you were sober for 6 yrs.

Glad you found us and told your story. We care about you and want to help.

DarrenW

Sorry about your slip. It could always be worse. At least you didn't kill someone as a result of your drinking. You can become a better person because of this. Good luck

sugarbear1

wow, your police are fast! wish they were that diligent over here!

I wish you well on your sober journey!

Gringo

They dont mess around in Florida.

betterthanbefor

It's not too late to turn things around! My husband was arrested twice for drinking & his company never found out. They only find out those things if they do a background check. My husband was also on probation for 1 yr & he never told his company so hopefully you won't have any problem w/your job (unless you start drinking again). I hope you can work it out w/your wife. Maybe you can figure out ways to remind her of why she fell in love with you? Divorce is a HUGE thing, so maybe you can at least try therapy before it gets to that point? Best of luck!