Hi Audrey1,
I think I get it. I have felt like you before, but in a relationship with a non-alcoholic man. I felt like the relationship wasn't 'bad enough' for me to have a 'good enough' reason to end it. In a way, I was giving control of my life to someone else because I wouldn't take any action or make a decision for my own life unless prompted by something he did. I thought that if I did not have a clear-cut reason for ending it, then I was a bad person--so I stayed too long.
I can't and won't tell you to stay or go. Maybe just take each day as it comes and see what happens--see how you feel as time goes on. I don't think any decision has to be made right now, does it?
I hope things improve for you soon! HG