Sorry I can't follow this, how about numbering the sibs? like oldest 1, next 2, etc. But to speak to the issue, just go slow and be polite. Let the others battle out how they need to. I am number five of six and I rarely see any of them. One sib and I get along but not enough to share Christmas so you are miles ahead LOL. I understand the idea of feeling that you need to fix this, that is part of our "training" or need from growing up. I think you handled it fine. Inform without control.