regeneration

I wanted advice from people on a family situation, and thought this may be the best thread.

I grew up in an alcoholic household, there are issues with us getting on/being close to each other, probably because of the way we relate to one another.

I'm 8 month's sober myself, and going to see my eldest brother and his children over Christmas. My younger brother, doesn't speak to the eldest, and is going to see the middle brother.

Reason he doesn't speak to him is because he says my older brother is controlling and patronising. My eldest brother had asked the younger one to stop being so understanding to his daughter when she mis-behaves, as he has to deal with the discipline. There is an ongoing history where they didn't really speak for years, then re-connected. So younger one ignore him now. Younger brother has a cocaine and alcohol issue, elder and middle brothers all drink a lot.

Now older brother is asking me where the younger brother is etc etc. I've just told him he's going to the middle brothers and changed the conversation.

I'm just not getting involved, but can't work out if that is a healthy thing to do. I do want to see my older brother, his children are lovely, and he's very hospitable, but I'm trying to pretend the row isn't happening. This is what I did growing up, ignored the chaos and withdrew. Or I tried to fix it. I don't want to try and fix it but can't work out if that makes me weak or a bad person. The whole situation is making me uncomfortable but I'm figuring I just need to sit with that feeling and realise this is their issue and it's up to them to deal with it?