I attempted to give him back his pills, he pleaded with me not too. He admits to not being able to trust himself at this point. His addict mind is in full swing. I will give them back to his/friend and they can talk it out.
He knows he is in trouble now and is scared. He really is afraid of withdrawals and doesn't want to go through that again. IMO, that seems to be one of his biggest motivators not to use again.
He shared with me - some of what his therapist and him talked about. I liked many things his therapist had to say, especially the parts about me, our marriage, and the resentments. This man seems to cut right through the BS.
He swears he made one call, the guy didn't answer and he bought nothing. He said it was his addiction telling him he needed/wanted more. He hung up and went to a meeting. He knows the compulsion is back, will need to stay very busy after his surgery, double up on meetings, etc. He claims it is hard to play the tape all the way through when he is currently on them. He feels like this broken arm is a real test and in some way its part of God's plan for his recovery.
I was very honest with him about what I would and would not accept. No ultimatums, just very firm boundaries. I will not live with an active addict again. I would support recovery efforts but not active addiction. He has the right to live anyway he chooses, I accept that 100% but I also have the right to live the way I choose.
I am giving any concerns to God, I will enjoy my day and I will focus on me. I think I would really enjoy a massage today so that is my plan, I am going to treat myself.
