Sorry you are going through this. Pelican has offered some incredibly good starting points.
Anyone who would be adamant about you not going to al anon is very sick. It isn't for them
I was confused at my first meeting, why were the steps identical to AA? Simple, only step one has to do with alcohol 2-12 apply to every person - it is a recipe for serenity and sanity. It works for addiction by keeping the persons head in a good place.
It is one thing to accept that another person refuses to get help, another when they prevent you from getting well. I would suggest going unless the conflict that would ensue might be violent. In that case, you know you need to get out of there.
Simple and easy are not the same, I realize that a simple and obvious solution is not that simple.
Hang in there, you are responsible for you, not him