Mafalda,
I've enjoyed reading your thoughts. I believe you are working towards self improvement and avoiding a more serious long term problem.
I have one concern, and it doesn't specifically concern you, but rather others on this forum. If you've been reading here a lot , you'll surely learn how many have very painful struggles with alcohol. It is really hard for people trying to abstain, to contemplate never drinking again...they dream of moderation....but it dangerous for them. Please bear this in mind as you share your experiences on this site.
My comment is said with utmost respect.