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Changing Bad habits

Old 12-10-2012, 02:45 PM
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Changing Bad habits

Just joined this forum a couple of days ago and it a already has become a habit to check in! I told my husband to lock up his cellar. I also told him we should absolutely not drink a bottle of wine during the week. It has become a habit to drink a bottle with dinner every night. When we go out to dinner it had become a habit to have a pre dinner drink, bottle of. Wine and dessert wine after. Lets get rid of that habit. Meeting a friend for lunch And having a glass of wine or two ( never had more since live in a driving town hence my breathalyzer ). I want to kick that habit too. Those habits are what led to my daily drinking of 4 or. 5. I will keep keep a diary, some form of Accountability for myself. ( and anyone else who might care ) of my pledges. No more meeting with wine reps for the hell of it. Now I am going for moderation but if I can't do that then on to abstinence it is. This is my form of a New Years resolution. Get back to doing more things that enhance my life not doing things that cause me stress. I will check in periodically on this thread to chart my progress in changing my bad habits.
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Old 12-10-2012, 02:56 PM
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Welcome! As some others will probably say there is no better time then now to stop.
I used to try to find the perfect time, new year day etc.
Then I would push back the date with a great excuse to drink.

Glad you found us!
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Old 12-10-2012, 03:29 PM
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Welcome to SR, Mafalda!
Good luck with the moderation attempt.
When I tried to control or moderate my drinking I found that I could not enjoy it.
Either thoughts of having more would consume me or I would make excuses to have more and then feel guilty.
When I gave it up completely, I didn't have to think about it anymore and I was able to enjoy whatever I was doing and live in the moment.
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Old 12-10-2012, 03:34 PM
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Welcome!!! Keep coming back here, it does help!
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Old 12-10-2012, 03:38 PM
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Originally Posted by Mafalda View Post
Just joined this forum a couple of days ago and it a already has become a habit to check in! I told my husband to lock up his cellar. I also told him we should absolutely not drink a bottle of wine during the week. It has become a habit to drink a bottle with dinner every night. When we go out to dinner it had become a habit to have a pre dinner drink, bottle of. Wine and dessert wine after. Lets get rid of that habit. Meeting a friend for lunch And having a glass of wine or two ( never had more since live in a driving town hence my breathalyzer ). I want to kick that habit too. Those habits are what led to my daily drinking of 4 or. 5. I will keep keep a diary, some form of Accountability for myself. ( and anyone else who might care ) of my pledges. No more meeting with wine reps for the hell of it. Now I am going for moderation but if I can't do that then on to abstinence it is. This is my form of a New Years resolution. Get back to doing more things that enhance my life not doing things that cause me stress. I will check in periodically on this thread to chart my progress in changing my bad habits.
Changing a habit shouldn't take too long . I typed "how long to change a habit" into Google and up popped lots of answers.

Quit your wine for a few days/weeks and you'll be good to go ......... unless you are an alcoholic of my sort.

You should know soon whether you are a problem drinker or an alcoholic.

There is a treatment for both (but don't mix the treatments as that can be deadly). Be honest.

All the best. I hope you do well.

Bob R
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Old 12-10-2012, 03:39 PM
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I can enjoy just a couple of drinks. What was bothering me was the daily habit. I have never gone on a bender as my body would not be able to handle it , I would probably end up in the hospital. Some of you have some strong livers. I think I have some of that enzyme that makes some Asians allergic to alcohol. In my case if I drink more than 5 drinks my body literally just says No. I remember such an occasion last year during thanksgiving when they kept on refilling my glass of wine. After About six glasses I run to the bathroom And it was like the exorcist. Disgusting I know. After that I was so disgusted with myself that when I go to those family Reunions now I have maybe 3 or 4 drinks with dinner and go to bed early while the others are still drinking. I would of been so embarrassed. Imagine the exorcist at the dinner table! Never Did that again.
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Old 12-10-2012, 03:52 PM
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Originally Posted by 2granddaughters View Post
Changing a habit shouldn't take too long . I typed "how long to change a habit" into Google and up popped lots of answers.

Quit your wine for a few days/weeks and you'll be good to go ......... unless you are an alcoholic of my sort.

You should know soon whether you are a problem drinker or an alcoholic.

There is a treatment for both (but don't mix the treatments as that can be deadly). Be honest.

All the best. I hope you do well.

Bob R
Thanks for reminding me of the distinction. When I do self evaluation I am technically a problem drinker.
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Old 12-10-2012, 03:53 PM
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If you can moderate your drinking then that is great! Set yourself firm limit and don't go over them, ever. Moderate drinking rates for a woman is no more than 2 drinks per day and no more than 9 a week. It sounds like you are drinking more than that at present. One program, Moderation Management, asks its participant to do a 30 day abstinence period before trying to drink in moderation. Perhaps you could start today on your 30 day alcohol free? If you find that it is very difficult for you to do this, then you might want to reevaluate your goals. I find abstinence much easier than moderation. I hope you find something that works for you.
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Old 12-10-2012, 04:06 PM
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I wish you the best, I truly do. My concern is for your expectations of this forum, which come from my own observations just within this past year (I am sure longer term members have seen this much more) - when someone posts who is aiming for moderation, they quickly become frustrated and disappear soon thereafter. Why? Because they did not get a pat on the back or the congratulatory words they were looking for. "Hey everybody - I only had two drinks today instead of five!" This will not elicit the "good going!" that is sought. Most, if not all, have tried moderation. It can seem like it is working, for a while. Those of us on the other side of it know that it is an illusion, therefore you will not get accolades you may be hoping for. If you are ok with that, post away. Just be prepared for the responses you get - which will all (hopefully) come from a place of concern for you.
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Old 12-10-2012, 04:41 PM
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I have a bad habit of not changing the toilet paper roll when it runs out.

I also have an alcohol dependency that is currently in remission. It is an addiction that will destroy my life, drain my spirit and will kill me...if I drink.

So, I do not drink. Ever.

I am not the only with this affliction, nor am I unique.

As you work on your bad habit, it is important that you are aware of the company you keep on SR.

I hope you find whatever it is you are looking for as you choose to drink alcohol in moderation.
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Old 12-10-2012, 05:07 PM
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Originally Posted by zeroptzero View Post
I wish you the best, I truly do. My concern is for your expectations of this forum, which come from my own observations just within this past year (I am sure longer term members have seen this much more) - when someone posts who is aiming for moderation, they quickly become frustrated and disappear soon thereafter. Why? Because they did not get a pat on the back or the congratulatory words they were looking for. "Hey everybody - I only had two drinks today instead of five!" This will not elicit the "good going!" that is sought. Most, if not all, have tried moderation. It can seem like it is working, for a while. Those of us on the other side of it know that it is an illusion, therefore you will not get accolades you may be hoping for. If you are ok with that, post away. Just be prepared for the responses you get - which will all (hopefully) come from a place of concern for you.
Whoa! I want expecting accolades or pats in the back. I'm just looking for a place to share and learn. A little judgmental maybe to assume what I'm looking for. Like I said before we all have our path and everyone does it in their own way. To assume I will fail is a little presumptuous. We are human beings, we fail and the important thing is to get back up again. That is all I'm doing. I'm not looking for validation of my methods. People have said before. Do whatever works for you !
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Old 12-10-2012, 05:18 PM
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Mafalda, you must understand that this is a sobriety message board and most people are abstaining from alcohol.

Your approach to moderation may work for you, but many of us are sharing our experience that we tried and it didn't work for us because we're alcoholics.
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Old 12-10-2012, 06:05 PM
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I am so glad I quit completely 6 months ago because going totally without alcohol these weeks, these months has been an eye opener as to the extent of the physiological dependence on alcohol I had developed. I used to go a day or two without alcohol every week or so (repentance for a hangover). I quit because I feared health consequences of habitual drinking that had spanned decades. I had not "hit bottom" but what I found out was that I had been marginalizing my experience of life because of what alcohol did to my brain. Until I had 3 months sober, I did not understand these diminishments alcohol had produced. Even at 6 months, I am still discovering the extent of the bite that alcohol took out of my life, my perceptions.

My suggestion would be to give sobriety 3 months and see what you learn. You would still have plenty of time left in life to follow the moderate path. Best.
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Old 12-10-2012, 06:11 PM
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Mafalda,
I've enjoyed reading your thoughts. I believe you are working towards self improvement and avoiding a more serious long term problem.

I have one concern, and it doesn't specifically concern you, but rather others on this forum. If you've been reading here a lot , you'll surely learn how many have very painful struggles with alcohol. It is really hard for people trying to abstain, to contemplate never drinking again...they dream of moderation....but it dangerous for them. Please bear this in mind as you share your experiences on this site.

My comment is said with utmost respect.
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Old 12-11-2012, 08:50 AM
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Thank you! I understand and hear you. It's all about self discovery and getting to know yourself. I have decided to stop drinking for a while and although I predict a rough holiday I will try. I have had a lot Of time to reflect these last few days and since I have been home all day taking care of my sick child and trying to put things into perspective. I really do have great admiration for those of you who have managed to it.
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Old 12-11-2012, 12:30 PM
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Thanks Mafalda,
I was worried my post might offend you...so glad it did not, as that was certainly not my intent.

Hope you little one is soon feeling better
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