I wish you the best, I truly do. My concern is for your expectations of this forum, which come from my own observations just within this past year (I am sure longer term members have seen this much more) - when someone posts who is aiming for moderation, they quickly become frustrated and disappear soon thereafter. Why? Because they did not get a pat on the back or the congratulatory words they were looking for. "Hey everybody - I only had two drinks today instead of five!" This will not elicit the "good going!" that is sought. Most, if not all, have tried moderation. It can seem like it is working, for a while. Those of us on the other side of it know that it is an illusion, therefore you will not get accolades you may be hoping for. If you are ok with that, post away. Just be prepared for the responses you get - which will all (hopefully) come from a place of concern for you.