Ok, so I had court on Friday.
I thought I would give the outcome of my day in court. So my attorney was being pretty wishy washy about the whole thing. I let her know that I really wanted to fight it on principal but that if it came down to going to full trial that I would happily do the daily tests.
My STBXAH and his attorney were both present via phone call. Which was kind of nice because the judge and the recorder were both free to make faces at some of the items brought up.
Anyway my husband's attorney actually had the balls to tell the judge that my husband had found me passed out on multiple occassions during our marriage. And that is why he wanted me to do the testing. That hurt because it was an outright lie. My attorney was quick to point out that in the six months we have been going to court, it was not brought up once.
The judge said she thought that it was insane because in her words, I had primary custoday and shouldn't I be able to have one glass of wine in the evening during the month? Heehee!
Anyway, I told the judge that I have not been drinking since the divorce started and said I would be happy to do the tests on the weekends I had the boys in order to get him to agree to it. Everyone agreed.
Get this though! Ha! The judge decided that if my STBXAH breaths point anything he gets a secondary blow within 30 minutes. If it is positive, I am to be notified by SoberLink, and I get to pick up the kids with the sherriffs office and we all come back to court.
If I blow positive on my weekend with the boys, it has to be .08 or above. He does not get to pick up the kids, (it would be a weekend off of testing for him and they don't want a drinking parent picking up the kids.) he can call the police and have them come to the house for a child welfare check, not take the kids. And we would discuss it at our next court date at the end of February.
I think they wanted him to agree to it without going through a trial but put all the other conditions on it to show him it is assinine.
As I keep getting told by people who have been through child custody hearings recently, ask for more than you want so that you can conceed some items. And who knows you might get it. I think as the partner of an A, I have learned that I have to back down to avoid the next fight, just to survive some days. It becomes what we know and what we are comfortable with. I'll tell you, it feels good to ask for what you want, stick to your guns and get it. I am all done with being bullied.
Fight for what it right and fair for your kids to keep them safe. Maybe they will get to see some of the man I married during A free visits......
4MyBoys