Thank you AnotherPaul.
I know that I can not help him. He has to do it and it's his choice when it's time to split hairs. I have been to AlAnon and will continue to go for me. I have admitted my part in this and I am powerless. He has also admitted to me and himself that he too is powerless and out of control in his words. He feels he's a terrible liar and can't hide it any longer.
What I can do is help guide him and like that old saying goes, you can lead a horse to water but not make him drink.
I have felleted myself open to him and told him many times that I would walk the path of the unknown with him but he wasn't ready. I would climb the highest mountain for him. I would accept him going to counceling, us going to counceling, him going to AA n me AlAnon, him seeking a physician's help, I would do what ever he asked me to do to make the transition into this as easy as possible because I know he is scared. I'm scared.
The trust is broken. That's unfortunate with this disease. I did tell him that I would forgive him if he can seek treatment and work on a way to get well. Everyone has to start somewhere. I want him to know that when he starts, he'll start with his hand in mine n we'll go together into the unknown world and as long as he goes, I'll be right there beside him.
He thinks he can't just walk into AA n pull up a chair. I told him he can. He said he will.
I pray for him every night of every day. I don't want him to walk alone. He's my husband.