Of course I agree with all of you who picked out the part of my carefully thought out and, for me, very open and thus kind of scary-to-post-even-to-strangers posting. Am I lying to the therapist I have been seeing for the last month? No. I haven't told her about something. I've been dealing with some pretty f&^*ing intense personal issues and looking at ALL of my unhealthy coping mechanisms. Did you not read the AlAnon part? Please don't take my inventory for me.
OK, whew. thanks for reading that.
Of course I'll talk with my therapist about what my life looks like. When I'm ready. And if you don't think that stuff can be worked through without talking about every single part of a very complex person's pathology, I -believe you are mistaken.
I went to AA a few times last year. It was a horrible experience which I posted about on these boards at the time. Believe me, I WANT AA to work for me, and more importantly WANT the AA community to not be comprised of bullying agitators who sent me literally running away.... I think my community AA group is not something I'd ever go to again, though. I'm going to breathe and call a sober (Yes, AA, but far away) friend and, like Dee said, not drink today.
So, just like I said, I made it to 36 hours with no problems. I may in fact smoke though. I'm feeling a little edgy, too.... can you tell?
