Thank you and I know things will be revealed, we have been together for going on two yrs. I ended it twice. But I can say with each time, I let it me known what I will and will not deal with,so now its the drinking. He is a functioning alcoholic. A hard worker, a really good man, not abusive (verbally or mentally) I think he is abusive with his drinking and its becoming a part of me. No he doesn't swear or anything like that, but I do believe there are some issues that he uses the drinking to help him cope. I know there is not perfect person but I do believe if you don't ask for what you want, then you wont get it. Its taken me two yrs to help him see the type of relationship I want in my life. He tells me to just let him do one day at a time, ok I get that,but because I said I wouldn't tolerate all the drinking this is when the one day at a time came into play. I quess you could say, What took me so long to see the drinking, He didn't let me see it at first. Anyway if I don't voice how it makes me feel then, I feel I will be letting him be happy and forgetting about me and No No that will not happen to me ever again. He states I'm controlling, but I believe we as women don't ask for what we want. I believe I DESERVE to loved the way I want to loved. I have grown over the yrs from my first marriage, but I know when it comes to love, I can sometimes not see things til after the fact. Just wanting to take things a little slower.