Reed,
It's crazy to read a story so similar to mine. I broke up with my EXABF a couple months ago too. We were engaged, and I thought we would grow old together. He started using Heroine a year into our relationship, and even though I knew about it, I had no idea how out of hand it was. Every day that passes , I figure out something else he lied to me about. I'm ashamed to say it, but he also stole from me to feed his addiction. It makes me sick to look back and see all the lies. He also cheated on me at the end of our relationship, which is ultimately why I broke up with him. He tried to blame the demise of our relationship on me, but I won't take responsibility for his choices.
It's a confusing time, but you should know you aren't alone in your struggle. It's comforting to know that other people know the pain I'm going through. Similarly, my EXABF called me recently. He too enrolled in outpatient treatment. Even though he now lives with the girl he cheated on me with, he told me he wants to come home, and that I'm his soul mate, but I am trying to let go of the love I have for him.
Do you miss him? How do you cope with those feelings? Even after the bad stuff that happened, I still miss him sometimes. I know I have to do what is best for me, and I know my worth, but sometimes I find myself caring again. After reading many posts on this forum, I realize that I got out relatively unscathed. I think you and I made the right choices, it's just hard to stick to it
Feel free to PM me if you ever want to compare notes, or just need to vent.
~MLH