Who are the bravest? The luckiest?
I can't speak for others but, for me, the bravest, the luckiest of those who have managed to get into recovery are those who saw it coming in their early years and who had the courage, the strength of character to give it up. These are the ones I admire,the ones I truly envy. As for me, I went on year after year, forty years, believing that I could somehow do it alone (albeit with "counselors" from time to time). I didn't want to quit. Part of it was self indulgence, part a mistaken sense of how much "control" still remained to me. But all the time it grew from within, like some cancer, and I had little realization how strong it had become. It was only after I was about to topple over the cliff, perhaps a week or two from death, that I finally got the message.
I've been sober for 24 years since then but I can't say honestly that I'm proud of myself. I was not truly strong, truly brave. And there are those who are. Who are young and wiser than I. Who see what is coming and who have the strength, courage and guts to do something about it.
This may be my last thread. I have nothing left to say.
W.