Who are the bravest? The luckiest?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 3,550
Who are the bravest? The luckiest?
I can't speak for others but, for me, the bravest, the luckiest of those who have managed to get into recovery are those who saw it coming in their early years and who had the courage, the strength of character to give it up. These are the ones I admire,the ones I truly envy. As for me, I went on year after year, forty years, believing that I could somehow do it alone (albeit with "counselors" from time to time). I didn't want to quit. Part of it was self indulgence, part a mistaken sense of how much "control" still remained to me. But all the time it grew from within, like some cancer, and I had little realization how strong it had become. It was only after I was about to topple over the cliff, perhaps a week or two from death, that I finally got the message.
I've been sober for 24 years since then but I can't say honestly that I'm proud of myself. I was not truly strong, truly brave. And there are those who are. Who are young and wiser than I. Who see what is coming and who have the strength, courage and guts to do something about it.
This may be my last thread. I have nothing left to say.
W.
I've been sober for 24 years since then but I can't say honestly that I'm proud of myself. I was not truly strong, truly brave. And there are those who are. Who are young and wiser than I. Who see what is coming and who have the strength, courage and guts to do something about it.
This may be my last thread. I have nothing left to say.
W.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
I hope it's not your last thread W. 
I feel we all have an unique perspective...no matter what path we may have taken, our stories and voices together make one heck of a treasury of experience and understanding
D
I feel we all have an unique perspective...no matter what path we may have taken, our stories and voices together make one heck of a treasury of experience and understanding
D
Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Los Angeles, California
Posts: 8,326
W, I also hope this isn't your last thread or post. You have a lot to share and I've gained from reading your past contributions. For what it's worth, I thnk anyone who manages to seek and maintain sobriety is both brave and strong. And even more courageous when the journey can be shared, to guide others. To maybe be an example that sobriety can be attained.
so please, don't deprive us of the wisdom you've gained.
Love from Lenina
so please, don't deprive us of the wisdom you've gained.
Love from Lenina
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Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 603
Looks like I didn't hit the submit button after previewing my post. Let's try that again.
I'm sorry to hear that you're not proud of yourself and that you have nothing left to say. Just by saying what you just did, you've helped others, so there's value in your story. Just think how many young'uns can benefit from hearing what it's like to continue chasing the dragon.
24 years is a mind numbing achievement. Since that's such a long time, I hope for you that you can turn the page and consider that you're a different person now. Whatever led you to death's doorstop is in the past, which you can't change.
As for young people quitting early on, they're just looking out for their own best interests. Some of us do a better job of that than others. There are tons of factors. You're being awfully hard on yourself saying that they're brave in comparison to you.
Originally Posted by wpainterw 
I can't speak for others but, for me, the bravest, the luckiest of those who have managed to get into recovery are those who saw it coming in their early years and who had the courage, the strength of character to give it up. These are the ones I admire,the ones I truly envy. As for me, I went on year after year, forty years, believing that I could somehow do it alone (albeit with "counselors" from time to time). I didn't want to quit. Part of it was self indulgence, part a mistaken sense of how much "control" still remained to me. But all the time it grew from within, like some cancer, and I had little realization how strong it had become. It was only after I was about to topple over the cliff, perhaps a week or two from death, that I finally got the message.
I've been sober for 24 years since then but I can't say honestly that I'm proud of myself. I was not truly strong, truly brave. And there are those who are. Who are young and wiser than I. Who see what is coming and who have the strength, courage and guts to do something about it.
This may be my last thread. I have nothing left to say.
W.
I've been sober for 24 years since then but I can't say honestly that I'm proud of myself. I was not truly strong, truly brave. And there are those who are. Who are young and wiser than I. Who see what is coming and who have the strength, courage and guts to do something about it.
This may be my last thread. I have nothing left to say.
W.
24 years is a mind numbing achievement. Since that's such a long time, I hope for you that you can turn the page and consider that you're a different person now. Whatever led you to death's doorstop is in the past, which you can't change.
As for young people quitting early on, they're just looking out for their own best interests. Some of us do a better job of that than others. There are tons of factors. You're being awfully hard on yourself saying that they're brave in comparison to you.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: New York
Posts: 1,372
W. - I guess I may be one of those quitting relatively early in my drinking career. But in no way does that make me stronger or braver. Personally, I have drawn strength, courage and hope from people like you (when honestly I don't think I had it on my own). I found it when I came to SR and started reading people's stories, learning lessons, taking advice, receiving encouragement, from people like you who have been brave enough to do the hard work, make it stick and then are courageous and kind enough to share that with the rest of us. Everyday there's someone new joining this place and they need to hear your stories - I know I have for the last 33 days.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,238
Your ESH - Experiences, Strengths and
Hopes you share give many hope that if
you have stayed sober for a many one days
at a time with some sort of formulor to help
you, then they can too.
The newcomer wants to know how YOU stayed
sober. Something helped you along the way
giving you hope, strength courage to make
it as long as you have.
For me, 22yrs. sober to get me where I am
today was not made by waving a magic wand.
I didnt just wake up 22 yrs later and bazzinga
I happy, joyous and free. All my one days at
a time not drinking included, screaming, throwing
tantrums, tears, fears, procrastination, denial,
dishonesty and so on and on.
Each time I touch a hot burner and got burned,
thinking I had learned my lesson each of those
failed times, eventually one day down the road
finally getting "it", that hard lesson.
I couldnt grow and get where I am today if I
didnt stumble and fall a few many times or a
few positive steps farward and a few steps back.
Recovery is a journey in life learning lessons
that are hard but turn out to be rewarding down
the end. Today, I pass on those lessons I learned
from others before me to those struggling with
their addiction today.
No, im not a saint. No Im not perfect. I dont
wish to be placed upon a pedastol or to be bigger,
better than anyone else. Im just one piece of a
puzzle which makes up a beautiful picture.
Recovery is a gift to not be taken for granted
but to be treasured and to be grateful for. For
without it, I would surely be dead by now.
Passing it(knowledge of recovery) on makes
life worth living because it reminds me that
in order to remain sober and enjoy the rewards
in recovery granted to us, I have to give it away.
Hopes you share give many hope that if
you have stayed sober for a many one days
at a time with some sort of formulor to help
you, then they can too.
The newcomer wants to know how YOU stayed
sober. Something helped you along the way
giving you hope, strength courage to make
it as long as you have.
For me, 22yrs. sober to get me where I am
today was not made by waving a magic wand.
I didnt just wake up 22 yrs later and bazzinga
I happy, joyous and free. All my one days at
a time not drinking included, screaming, throwing
tantrums, tears, fears, procrastination, denial,
dishonesty and so on and on.
Each time I touch a hot burner and got burned,
thinking I had learned my lesson each of those
failed times, eventually one day down the road
finally getting "it", that hard lesson.
I couldnt grow and get where I am today if I
didnt stumble and fall a few many times or a
few positive steps farward and a few steps back.
Recovery is a journey in life learning lessons
that are hard but turn out to be rewarding down
the end. Today, I pass on those lessons I learned
from others before me to those struggling with
their addiction today.
No, im not a saint. No Im not perfect. I dont
wish to be placed upon a pedastol or to be bigger,
better than anyone else. Im just one piece of a
puzzle which makes up a beautiful picture.
Recovery is a gift to not be taken for granted
but to be treasured and to be grateful for. For
without it, I would surely be dead by now.
Passing it(knowledge of recovery) on makes
life worth living because it reminds me that
in order to remain sober and enjoy the rewards
in recovery granted to us, I have to give it away.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 13,497
(((William))) please don't leave . You stand out as one of the rocks here, and you helped me immeasurably, to understand some things about my A son, and the disease.
You are a true inspiration to me. Your writings beautiful and true, and it would be a great loss for SR, if you were to not post anymore.
you are special, William, and dear to us. I hope you continue to walk beside us on this path called life.
hugs
chicory
You are a true inspiration to me. Your writings beautiful and true, and it would be a great loss for SR, if you were to not post anymore.
you are special, William, and dear to us. I hope you continue to walk beside us on this path called life.
hugs
chicory
A Day at a Time
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Grand Rapids MI
Posts: 6,435
Painter, I can relate to the wasted life funk. I drank and drugged for 40 years and I only stopped because I was going to die. Guess what? I didn't, so if I am alive I better make use of the time I have left. I believe sobriety is a gift, a miracle, given to very few so I plan on thanking my higher power by being a better person and hopefully helping at least one other person.
I wish I had the wisdom that so many people younger than I have. That they are able to see drugs and alcohol are distroying their lives. I wish I had made other choices but I did not. I do have the choice of staying sober today and trying to act in accordance with God's plan and with some luck make this world a better place.
BTW 24 years is awesome and it did not happen by accident. People like you show me that it is possible. That long term sobriety is not just a fantasy but a reality.
I wish I had the wisdom that so many people younger than I have. That they are able to see drugs and alcohol are distroying their lives. I wish I had made other choices but I did not. I do have the choice of staying sober today and trying to act in accordance with God's plan and with some luck make this world a better place.
BTW 24 years is awesome and it did not happen by accident. People like you show me that it is possible. That long term sobriety is not just a fantasy but a reality.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 3,550
I like your avatar of the dog with the ball. It's always helpful to have some companion who's go a lot on the ball....My dog is that way and he's also very skillful with paper.
W.
W.
A Day at a Time
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Grand Rapids MI
Posts: 6,435
Originally Posted by wpainterw
I like your avatar of the dog with the ball. It's always helpful to have some companion who's go a lot on the ball....My dog is that way and he's also very skillful with paper.
W.
W.
He said, "Is she in pain?" and I said, "No."
Eating OK and I said, "Yes."
In any discompfort and I said, "No."
He said, "Well I guess you do not have a problem today do you." He was so right by living in the day I was able to enjoy the time we had together instead of being consumed with worry and sadness. Yes it was sad when she passed but unfortunately death is part of life and I stayed sober
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