Hi and welcome Time2Focus!
Moderation, for me, was completely exhausting. I decided that I was either going to be a drunk forever or be sober forever. It is simply too tiring to try and be normal when I know that I'm not wired the same way as people who can drink moderately.
I've been sober (this time!) for 90 days and can tell you the freedom I feel is worth it all. I had a quick dance with the devil a few weeks ago, had one beer, and the crap that came along with it was soooooo not worth it. The internal judgement, the fighting my desire to drink more immediately, the courage to post here honestly, the desire for more more more (yup, I said that twice), the list goes on.
I had to decide, deep within, that I'm going to live the rest of my life as a sober person. And believe me, it took years of fits and starts for me to finally give up. But I wouldn't change a minute of my last 90 and it's been a hell of a 3 months in my life.
You can do this - you just have to want it more than anything in the world and make it THE most important thing in YOUR world. Good luck and keep posting.