Thank you KindEyes, I like the idea that my brain has a penthouse. I'll remember that always.
It's my train of thought that restricts my growth at times. By trade I'm a mechanical engineer who likes to get his hands dirty. I spend my days at work methodically fixing one problem after another, step by step in a very precise manner. I usually keep my work at work. When I did eventually raise my blinders and acknowledged the fact that my home had a severe problem, I approached this the same way. Objectively, I began methodically fixing one problem after another, step by step in a very precise manner. It happened very fast and thankfully my children and me ended up where I feel we need to be. When all was said and done, now that I'm here it's like, wow. "what just happend?"
Shock I guess.
In time I'll figure out what happened these past few years, I see that most of my anxiety comes from impatience.