I would love to spend more time with my AB. However, when I do, I go right back to my codependent ways. I want to ask him about his recovery. I worry that he will die if he doesn't stop. I begin to think about his situation all the time. Separating myself from him helps me to be healthier myself. I hope that I can learn to let go and let God, but until then, limiting contact with him is how I will keep myself in a better state of mind. Your holidays will only be bad if you allow them to be bad. Don't give him that power. Do you think he will be sitting in jail thinking about how badly he feels that his actions have upset you this much? I doubt it.