How do you plan on surviving the holidays?
I used to love Christmas but now I just get so depressed in the weeks leading up to it. My mom passed away 3 years ago in January from her addiciton, which makes it very hard for me. Plus, I am trying so hard to follow my intuition & not visit my brother in jail while home. I went to see him last year at Christmas & it didn't do any good. I don't want to make that mistake again this year. Why is it that those of us who love our addict have to be the tough ones & avoid them when deep down inside we just want to spend time with them? Sometimes I feel like it is harder for us than it is them, especially when they aren't even aware of the pain they cause.
I can't wait for February...hopefully things will be better then. Oh...never mind, that is when my brother is released & I get to start worrying about his life all over again. Don't worry, he doesn't even know I exist when he is using so the worrying is all silent
He just gets to live his life the way he wants while I sit in pain. Ugghhh...