I think I finally get it...my brother has to figure this mess out on his own. Thank you for all the comments. When I first read them, they made me angry; I felt like no one was understanding what I was saying. But after sleeping on it, I FINALLY get it. Just letting go is the hardest thing I have done in 17 years. The support on this forum has helped me more than anything else has ever done! Everyone's message: If he is ever going to be successful at recovery he has to do it alone so that he can gain the self respect he needs. Thanks for the wake up call.
Before our mother died, she said that the only thing she was going to leave me was my brother. It was an inside joke on our part. Any how, when she did die 3 years ago, I literally felt like he was now my responsibility & that has been the hardest issue to work through.
He is NOT my responsibility & all that I can offer him is love. I will repeat this everyday from now on.