kthopkt

Do you ever wish you could win the lottery so that you could have something to offer your addict, such as a decent rehab, & medical/dental care? I often dream of having the resources to help my brother. He is homeless & owns nothing. I just want the chance to have an intervention with him & actually be able to afford to send him somewhere for help. He doesn't have a high school diploma, ect.

I wonder if money can make it easier for a person to recover? I do.

LoveMeNow

I don't!! Just seeing what has happened to celebrities like Charlie Sheen, Lindsay Lohan, Redmond O'Neil, and even Sylvester Stallone's son, to name a few....the person still has to still want and need sobriety.

suki44883

Recovery has nothing to do with money. It is an inside job and many people without money have found recovery, just as many people with millions of dollars have not. The best rehab in the world is useless unless the addict truly wants recovery.

whaty

Not me. I'd be more worried about son finding out!

cece1960

Me too!

Scolova

From an alcoholic stand point; Had I won even the smallest of lottos I probably would have drank myself to death pretty quickly. Now that I have 14 months clean, I feel confident that I would not go back to that, but with tons of money comes tons more drugs and opportunities to use.

Justfor1

Having money gives the addicted person much more good options. For example, they are able to move out of a drug infested neighborhood. I believe a big myth is that all rehabs are the same. They are not. I can guarantee you that the staff members are more trained in addiction at a Betty Ford or Hazelton than the local Salvation Army. The quality of food will be much better and the bed much nicer as well. Most folks paying money for the nice rehabs will be more inclined to getting better than the guy at the state rehab looking for a place to crash for 28 days and get back to the streets.

tjp613

My son is well covered by insurance and we have the means to cover out of pocket expenses and rent for sober living. I can't see that it's made any crucial difference one way or the other.

suki44883

If someone truly wants sobriety, rehab is not necessary. It doesn't matter how many options someone has, if they don't want sobriety, options are useless.

LoveMeNow

My friends son has been to 4 rehabs from the most expensive to free. She will tell you from her experience and her son's that the free one was the best, the most informative, staff that really cared, called her son out when needed....they weren't concerned about their image.

It still took him 4 yrs later to finally "get it" and to embrace his recovery. He is now clean for 2 yrs from heroin and meth. He stills laughs at all BS they pulled on the big $$ rehabs. He says they were more comfortable but more like "pre school."

Regardless, he had to his bottom before he really wanted and needed sobriety.

outtolunch

I am living proof that money does not make a difference. My daughter was uninsured when she was in active addiction because she was no longer a full time student and my state laws at the time were such that non students were dropped from their parent's policies at 19.

Everything was out of pocket, my pocket and for a while there I threw everything including the kitchen sink at her problem, MDs, shrinks, interventionists and rehabs Her last dual diagnosis rehab ran more than $45K a month. Months later she returned home and relapsed within hours.

The missing link was that at the time, she had no interest in changing. It was a very expensive education, for me.

She eventually got clean on her own, in her own time and there was no stopping her. She decided to save herself and she was done. It did not cost another dime.

outtolunch

The thing is that it's usually the parents who have manipulated their adult children into these places and they foot the bill. Most addicts don't have a dime.

12 Steps are 12 Steps regardless if it's coming from a celebrity rehab, the SA or in an AA/NA meeting. And 12 Steps is not the only way.

JMFburns

I dream occasionally about all the "good" I'd do if I won the lottery.

• Pay for lawyer to deal w/my sons warrants.
• Pay off my daughters student loans.
• Go to college.
• Pay for my son to go to college.
• After educated, help my son to start a recovery house.
• Donate to AA, AlAnon, NarAnon large chunks of money.
• Donate to homeless shelters my son used.
• Donate to food shelves.
• Etc., etc., etc.

I dream that my son would be the clean cut, upstanding, responsible person I see in my head . . . in reality, even now that he's clean he has "issues" that need working out and throwing money at him wouldn't make him into my 'perfect' vision.

But dang . . . I'd sure like some money!!!

hello-kitty

Ask Kurt Cobain and Whitney Houston and Jim Morrison and Amy Winehouse and Janis Joplin and John Belushi and Heath Ledger and Elvis Presley and - lord the list goes on and on - how having lots of money and limitless resources helped them recover from their addictions.... oops you cant.

kthopkt

But what if a person truly wants recovery but finds nothing but heart ache in their sobriety because they have health problems & no insurance, they need a job but have felonies & no high school diploma or drivers license, they need a place to live but no income, etc.

I just feel that if I had money, I could help my brother more easily if he gets to the point he wants it.

I know he has to pursue sobriety on his own, I get that, but that is only the tip of the iceberg. For him to remain in recovery he needs support & guidance. He needs to completely re-learn how to live. Money can purchase the necessities he needs.

interrupted

To me it almost seems like having a ton of money to throw at everything is counter indicative to learning how to healthily navigate the wild roller coaster of life. In fact, I actually think this can be where celebrities get into trouble because they have never had to learn how to deal with anything, everything was always taken care of for them. Growing up with ridiculous wealth surrounded by people who praise, groom, and do everything for you is somewhat akin to being a giant baby. It must be tremendously difficult to reconcile having all that power while feeling so helpless.

I have not overcome an addiction personally, but I can see where the empowerment of self-sufficiency (i.e. not having anyone there to take care of everything for you) would come in extremely handy. I know that it's imperative in overcoming my codependency.

Vale

Funny topic.I had the chance to do "something special" for the addict I cared
about early in the process.A very large asset found it's way into my portfolio,
unexpectedly--and therefore 'invisible' to all (save me and the IRS).

Knowing what I know now,had I given into my hero fantasies of killing this
addictive monster (that was eating her alive)......in one fell swoop.......

I think she would be dead today.Beyond the reach of any 'rehab'.

The old saying is we come into this world alone---and we die alone.
I would add the caveat......"and we beat addiction (IF we beat it)

.......alone."

That there is,truly,nothing we can do to 'get' them clean,THEY have to
decide if their life is worth sobriety.And if they decide that it isn't,then WE
disrespect them as sovereign human beings....if we disrespect their choice.

In my own life,anything I truly wanted----nothing could stop me.
Anything I didn't?----nothing could motivate me.

MsPINKAcres

From what I understand about the disease of alcoholism & addiction ~ one of the main things an addict looses is self-respect, dignity & self-love ~ in order to gain sobriety they need to find a way to regain those things - no amount of money can give them those things -

I understand that money can fix many things - but what this disease damages I truly believe it requires an emotional, mental and spiritual healing of some type ~

Just my e, s, & h - please take what you feel can help you and leave the rest ~

PINK HUGS (hope, unity, gratitude & serenity)

Vale

IF/THEN thinking is fatal......"If THIS happens----THEN I'll _____"

Having been approached many times in my life by parents wanting a
good life for their kid......"How to I get my kid to be a ________?"

I'm sure my answer is less than satisfying: "He/she has to WANT IT,more
than anything in all the world,think of ways to get there from the time they get
up to the time they sleep...then dream about it."----know in their true core that
obstacles are what you see when you take your eyes off the goal.

Reality is the polar opposite of 'magic door' thinking(If I just knock on the right door
---it all falls in my lap...MAGICALLY).

Funny thing about the dues/price-paying machine.......the damn thing NEVER
malfunctions!"Tell me the easy way to get from A to B"!?!....there isn't one.Once you
figure THAT one out all of life's obstacles don't even qualify as speed bumps.

The addict I cared about? We didn't share the same language,the same life
experience----hell,we didn't even live in the same UNIVERSE.

In her universe,2x2=9.

I cannot comprehend or operate in a universe where 2x2 does NOT equal 4.

Recognizing and respecting reality......is like learning to fish with dynamite.

Kindeyes

Personally, I haven't been through rehab anywhere so I am far from being an expert. However, I do have exposure to two expensive inpatient rehabs and two expensive intensive outpatient rehabs and am now going to have some exposure to the Salvation Army ARC as that is where my son is currently. Perhaps I'll have some valuable insight sometime in the future.....and then perhaps not. I think it has very little to do with the rehab center and everything to do with the addict's internal motivation to recover.

Recovery is hard work......really HARD work and it doesn't come with guarantees no matter how nice the facility, how great the food or how highly degreed the staff. "Nice" has very little to do with recovery and less to do with addiction. There is nothing "nice" about addiction and "nice" doesn't fix it.

As far as the lottery goes......heck yeah.....I'd like to win the lottery (wouldn't most of us) and it's fun to dream about it! What would I do with the money? I'd make one heck of a HUGE donation to........the Salvation Army!

gentle hugs
ke