You sound like me, drained and tired of excuses and promises. A person has to "want to try, and give it all" or they won't do anything. I would think four years would answer your question, I have only gone through this two years and I am getting out while I can. However, we have no children together, not sure if that is your case. Don't live your life on promised lies. My mother was also an alcoholic, I wish I had a dollar for every promise that she promised my dad. You know how she quit..........she went off the side of a MOUNTAIN, in New Mexico. ICU for two months and the story goes on and on. I am sorry, but alcoholics are selfish, they think only of themselves and will do anything to keep someone hanging on. I know you have to do what is in your heart so all I can do is pray that God will show you the direction.