Heard her talking about me again!!!!
So last night I was half way through an essay of an email to my aunty, telling her how bad things are getting here, slightly hinting at her, that I need this money I'm borrowing, as I need to get out of here asap!!!!
Before I do or say something I regret!!!
I already nearly punched my mother the other day, I don't want to do that.
Well I do, it would give me great satisfaction, but then as I have a conscience, I would feel even worse. two wrongs don't make a right, so they say.
Anyway back to the point, I was half way through this email to my aunty, and I went downstairs to the toilet, it was about 1am, I could still hear the music pumping downstairs, and knew mother had been drinking since 2.30pm. As I went down the stairs I could hear her talking about me and my dad again to one of the guys from the other night. Saying how my dad is an awful dad, how she told him to come and take me away a couple of days ago, and I am not really sick, just lazy, well that was that.
I rang her up, and nicely and calmly said ''have you finished talking about me yet?'' she denied it, even though I said I had literally just heard her, and I said exactly what she had said, she went quiet, I told her she was dead to me, and threw the phone on her bedroom floor.
I listened for a bit longer, she carried on for awhile, saying I was full of rubbish, and that I couldn't possibly be recording her, ha ha ha!!!
How little she knows, she thinks I am so stupid, but whenever she has a problem who does she come to to solve it for her???????
Well I have been paid from the dole, just waiting on money from my aunty this weekend, I am planning on, going to stay with her for awhile in Tasmania, it is colder than Australia, but will not be as bad as here!!!! It will cost a little more to fly there, but I am saving what money I can, probably a good thing I am sick, and not smoking, drinking, or eating.
I think if I go to Tassie, I can go live out bush, find myself, see a decent aussie counselor who knows where I am coming from and live happily ever after, fingers crossed!!!! My aunty has had a hard life and has been disowned by our family, so it will just be me and her and we are more like sister/best friends, so think this will be good for both of us.
I am going to leave my mother a note, saying I have gone to stay with friends for a couple of weeks, so that should buy me a bit of time before she tries bugging me and finding me.
By that time I will be long gone. I will talk to my father on msn as then he wont have a phone number so mother cant give him more grief, and I will pay to ring him the old fashioned phone box way, I will feel bad, but at least I will be able to stay in contact with him, without him having to lie to my mother or feel bad. I don't want to cause trouble or bad feeling but she brought this on herself, I told her a long time ago, she was going to lose everyone that loves her and think she is special. Well, I'm the last one left.