Originally Posted by
dragon12 
I"ve lost count of how many times I have attempted to give up drinking. My drink of choice is wine and it is usually around 5pm that I start drinking. What makes it even worse is that my partner is also a big drinker and neither of us are working so it's not such a big deal if we wake up with a sore head as we don't have to go to work. If we go out with friends or family, I will only have 2 to 3 glasses of wine, but when I get home I open another bottle to top up.
I know that the wine is having a really detrimental affect on my health, as every morning my stomach feels like the lining is being eaten away.
I've never sought help before, apart from this forum, but I am considering getting some assistance or counselling. I feel so ashamed though that I have reached this stage and I feel ashamed that anyone will know about my "secret".
Yesterday I was very hung over so wasn't such a big deal not drinking last night. but tonight will be the gig challenge.....DAY 1!
Your story is familiar. I spent years and years in the cycle you describe...only I would have a glass or two of wine before going out with friends and having another 2 or 3 glasses with dinner and then coming home and having more. I would feel awful about it every morning, disgusted with myself for having no self control, wondering if anyone had "noticed" etc., or if I had said or done anything I now couldnt remember. The cycle would start again in the late afternoon. I would talk myself into justifying it by telling myself that THIS time I would only have one glass etc.
Humiliated and worried about my health and the example I was setting for my children and grandchildren, ruined holidays and other gatherings with family and friends, not remembering who had done the dishes the night before or who may have called me, I called a local recovery clinic where I was able to get help withtherapy and medications that helped me detox and take the edge off cravings. It was the hardest phone call I have every made and the most difficult doctor visit of my life.
I was ashamed too about my dirty little secret.....the thing was, though, with those closest to me.....it wasn't a secret to them. They already knew I had a problem and they were happy and proud that I was finally trying to deal with it.
I am happy that you are here at SR now too. There's is great support and information that will help you here.