Thank you Rose. I love his smile and the way he makes me double over with laughter. I love how we dance together and share a network of friends in our dance community. That and other things. My options are to not rock the boat and continue to have weekends like this where I'm constantly setting boundaries and feeling disappointed because I feel let down yet again. I'm just going to get more of what I've had over the past year. On the positive side, I've learned to stay with my own feelings, create and maintain firm boundaries and relate unconditionally without expecting him to be other than who he is. He gave me a compliment yesterday because he said that he s now a much stronger man because if my influence on him. He has benefitted too. I am thinking that if I let go, he may decide to get treatment and our relationship has the possibility of growing beautifully, because we do love each other. The other possibility is that I know what I don't want, so I can now be available to relate with a man who is capable of relating and with whom I won't have such a hard time. I am not sorry that we were together and I do love him but love us not enough.