Thanks for your msg. I can just see myself getting more and more tired and everything else in my life is on track. I enjoy my work and all the things I love to do. Upon reflection, I see that I am always responding to a need of his. Reminds me of my teenage daughter when she was at home. I am very independent but do want to share my life with an equal partner. My thought is that if my boyfriend really desires health for himself, and really wants a solid relationship with me, then he will do something about it. In the meantime, the most loving thing I can do for me is to remove myself so I'm not tired all the time and can enjoy being with people who reciprocate. In unconditional love for him, by taking myself away and setting a clear boundary, although I am hurting a lot and miss him ( he does have wonderful qualities too, like cooking for me, mowing my lawn etc.), continuing to stay around him doesn't address the drink issue. I think I'm mourning the loss of potential rather than something concrete.