How can we help, she sounds like a monster, sorry, just the way I see it.
Please, begin to put the focus on you and your healing.
Alcoholism is a disease, a progressive disease, it makes the alcoholic sick and it makes their friends and family sick as well.
Do you have access to al anon, counseling????
I began my journey off the ride here, reading the stickies at the top of this section, getting educated about alcoholism, developing a healthy compassion for myself, and lots of crying and allowing myself room to grieve.
I'm so sorry you are in this place , at this time, keep posting, we care.
Sending you a big hug Katie