I have made it a point to let people know I am a recovering alcoholic. It is just so much easier . No one will ever get a bottle of Liquor from me, unless it is wine for the hostess of a dinner party.
Any parties that involve a big group of drinkers I steer clear of. Once you relate your alcoholic past , surprisingly people are very understanding, and actually come to you with questions about their own concerns of being an alcoholic.
If I had friends or family who could not understand my discomfort around alcohol, that is fine, but don't expect me to be there or gift them alcohol. I have only to answer to me.
Needless to say I decline every party involving heavy drinking. After a couple of no's they usually stop asking. They are still my friends and we will do many other things together , just not party.
Oh and I am 61, I mean there isn't a whole lot of partying left in me, I ran thru my share before I was 35...and loved every minute of it.....eh, I think!