I think excessive grief may be our AV talking. As if a drink or a drug is going to change anything. I know that one thing we use to talk about was acceptance, acceptance without approval. Life happens and I don't like it, but just about everybody I know that is getting older has lost a parent or two.
A young lady who works for me recently lost her father, who was a good friend of mine. She is using it as an excuse to indulge herself with pain pills, a solid form of alcohol. I too grieved, but I know that I can do nothing to bring him back and must accept it, just like I have to accept my own death when it comes. When I die, I don't want the life I could have lived flash before my eyes. I don't want any regrets and it it time for me to grow up. I have many people depending on me.
Drinking or using is a losing proposition for me, therefore I will never drink again and I will never change my mind.