crazybabie

I haven't posted in awhile and couldn't decide to do one post are various I decided on just one sorry it is so long.

My middle AS is staying with me he came to my town to work with his dad on a side job he has been with me since Monday night the 13th he is not using that I know I suspect he may be smoking pot, he says he isn't because he met this new girl he thinks he is crazy about and is trying to get a job where she works of he has no way to get anywhere and can only go anywhere if I take him or someone picks him up thus far he has only been gone to his sisters with the gf and the movies.

I do know she does no drugs I know her parents pretty good but her brother sells pot my issues with my son are

1. I have things that need done in my home that my health do not permit me to do I feel he should be easily able to do them but he just kinda looks at me like I am crazy when I mention what I would like done.

2. I sent him to the store earlier to grab just a few items he came back with them and set the bags on the bar and then sat on the couch I asked him are you not gonna put those up and his response was well mama usually when you go get things for people you bring it in and they put it up he then got up and put up the 2 items that went in the refrigerator and sat back down leaving the others.

3. I insisted that if he was gonna be at my house since he has no job yet that he apply for food benefits his appointment was this morning and he wanted me to go for him he had put me down as authorized rep. I refused and he went I have since discovered he wants to trade some of his benefits for cash so he can pay on his motorcycle which is in pawn (until he gets a job) The bike and his wife's car were recently pawned so they could move.(they were evicted and it was a hurry case)

My thoughts on this are first it is wrong that is not the intention of food benefits and is illegal this probably would be one of those non of my concern things but since he is currently staying here I also feel he should purchase some food for here is that unreasonable of me?

He does take the trash out and he will go to the store for me if I ask he gets a little grumpy about it but does it.

I am hoping for some opinions on what kind of boundaries one sets for a 24 year old besides no drug use, and must be actively looking for work which he is doing I have personally taken him some of the places as he has no transportation and I do not plan on just handing him my car all the time.



Next up : AH, came last Thursday and it was late he asked to spend the night here I agreed well he kept coming back and stayed Thur, Fri, Sat, and Sun. I allowed this for my own reason and YES part of it was to see if I felt we might could work anything out. There was no sexual contact not even a kiss I said no to those things he went and bought the things needed for Thanksgiving dinner for me, him, son, our daughter and her bf.

I learned quite a bit while he was here and do not regret my decision to let him stay, I wasn't upset when Monday arrived and he went to work and back to his brothers or where ever he called at midnight last night he was in town repossessing cars and asked if he could stay here instead of driving the 30 miles to his brothers I was OK with that.

During his 4 day stay he informed me and do mean informed we, were not discussing anything that he is moving back in soon, I was thinking really ?
I have made plans to possibly move in with a gf instead of doing anew lease but he doesn't know that.I didn't bother to tell him as I see it as none of his concern.

What I learned while he was here is that he feels this, is his home in a way because he turned the TV. to what he wanted just the usual things he always dis when we, were together I just sat back and observed and made a journal he definitely seemed to have a sense of entitlement.

We barely spoke and honestly our life has almost always been that way.

I have an appointment on the 28th at our local cancer center my iron levels are elevated among some other things.

Thanks, in advance for the honest opinions I will get in all areas.

I hope everyone has a nice holiday.