nonet4life

I quit because my wife was about to leave me and take my young daughter. I had been trying to cut back, and had, over the first 3 years that she was born, but cutting back didnt occlude some occasional binges, coming in at daylight, not knowing where I was. About once a month or so. Cutting back from once or twice a week binges to about 9 or 10 a year. But the wife had enough, and I was confused by my lack of control once I started on my binge. So, my reason for quitting is keeping my family together, my quality of life and health was not enough to make me stop, but losing the title of "daddy" was enough. With 2 and a half years sober, my family has never been better. However my alcoholic "social medicine" was gone, and it has made it near impossible to socialize as I once did, very important in my job, in fact I lost my job due to the drastic change in my personality by becoming sober...and becoming the very shy introvert I once was. It wasnt compatible with my job. I am working on that, slowly getting better. SO...the thing I quit for is still present daily. BUT the reason I drank, one of them, to be more social in job that demands a gregarious and extrovert is still there, and I lost a couple rounds with that battle. I continue to find ways to plug into to that happy, carefree person that alcohol could unleash, but with my sober brain. It is tough! But better than that alcohol-soaked bandaid I wore on my problem for most of my adult life. And if I can find that person, that carefree and more uninhibited person, without the wreckless drunk that that person could become, then that is the person I should have been all along.