Just checking back in on this thread because it is an important one. I hope everyone is at peace for the holiday.
My wife left with my children because I was a drunk and unsafe and she never looked back. Why would she? And when she bought a house, rebuilt her life, thus creating warmth and safety for our children the "Now you can comeback sign!" was not posted for a damn good reason - I disrupted her life for over a decade. Why would she consider to continue that debacle?
Sobriety does not grant anyone a free pass for anything. I will guarantee that everyone is pleased that the ex is finding recovery, but it does not issue a ticket into disturbing those we love with demands.
I am entitled only to what is offered and no more. It hurts deeply, but I am sober and with that I will grow.
God Bless.