Thanks everyone for your support. I sometimes feel compassion for the disease but some days the arrogance and self centeredness just don't let me feel it.
He ended up I'm pretty sure going to a meeting. Came home and said nothing to me. I asked if he ate, since he stormed out without dinner and told him leftovers in the fridge. He mumbled he'll have them for lunch tomorrow. That was it.
Is it possible for someone who has gotten to the point of not being able to control their drinking to stop drinking for six months or so and then start again with controlled drinking only on the weekends. It seems to me that is what is going on. He goes to meetings once or twice during the week and all he does is come home and watch tv and go to sleep.
I know they say once you take that first drink, you can't stop and when he was doing that I didn't always know and later on he stayed away and then he got to where he had the blackouts, DUI and all that. But I think he stopped for awhile but is now starting back up again and it's only on the weekends when he's home here and pretty much sits in front of the tv and does a few errands.
We don't sleep in same room and as I said he never gives affection nor wants to receive it which I think is just his way of making sure I won't be close to him, if and when he may smell of alcohol.
I just want to believe that he is working on his recovery but if it's possible I think he is just doing what he can to get through his work week and hanging on by his fingernails on the weekend with sometimes having a drink or two if this is possible.
It doesn't really matter, we have no relationship and all that I work on for myself won't change this if it is true.
Thanks again all.