my take on its is the drinking was such an impact in yalls lives that regardless right now drinking or not. it still is . it takes time for them to go back to normal. to act and do things thatcwe expect from a normal loving relationship. after all the love that he got he took from a bottle much like a mistress we were pushed away and while they get their mind back we are still left with the resentment and caution. feeling like its just not going to work anymore or like all the other times they are still hypnotized by addiction which puts a wedge between the relationship.
a person can only take so much and uts that reason we feel at our end.
good luck to you and hopefully things work out divorce or not....what you will or wont tolerate comes down to you