Dancingnow-
I am sorry you are feeling kind of cruddy.
I want to commend you for feeling, however, good, bad, ugly, yucky etc.
Often I sense in your posts a holding back of trying to make it okay, sometimes when it is not.
I am glad to see you not trying to make this okay. The only way out is through....and this has been a really hard lesson that I have to relearn again and again.