When I find myself in a mess, I try to figure out what the root cause of it is. What is at the bottom of this? You said you are 'willing to do everything you can to get' sobriety. I haven't read that you quit drinking yet. You can't control anyone around you, but you can control this. There is a big tangle of emotions and events and reactions and uncertainty and expectation. At the center of all of this is the reason that you are posting here. The decision to quit drinking is yours.