Originally Posted by
iseult 
I understand they have concern for their son, this isn't an easy thing for anyone to deal with, but what if it turned out he had cancer tomorrow? Or got hit by a car? Or lost his job?
But it's NOT cancer. Cancer is different. It's involuntary, but from this point on, now that you know you are an alcoholic, your drinking is 100% voluntary, and even knowing this, you told your fiance that you can't promise you won't relapse. Cancer is either cured or causes death, there's an end to it one way or another. Alcoholism goes on and on and on and on and affects your children and grandchildren. Cancer also doesn't make you physically attack other people in hospital rehab rooms, nor does it cause you to lie and manipulate and blame.
And yes, some people do break off engagements when the other gets cancer. We hear all the romantic stories of them going forward, but that's not always the best thing for BOTH people.
People also break off engagements for lesser addictions such as smoking and eating disorders and being overweight. And yes, also for unemployment.
You aren't their child. You can't expect them to have the same commitment towards you as they do for him. You have your own family, I guess they are in the US since you said they aren't in the UK? Why don't you rely on them instead of these virtual strangers who feel betrayed by you and are worried for their son? If you don't get along with your own parents, then how can you get all snotty about his relationship with his parents not being close until you came along?
Originally Posted by
iseult If the situation were turned around, would I be expected to ship him back to another country where he has no one, nothing, and absolutely nowhere to go?
You know, the US isn't the worst place in the world to be. Are you a US citizen? Well, then you will get whatever benefits you are entitled to in the US, since you aren't entitled to any in England.
You've been in England less than 8 years and are only now since your hospital stay just getting a job? What did you do with yourself in the US? Why don't you have anything there since it hasn't been that long since you've been there? How dependent are you on strangers taking care of you anyway?
His family can't deport you, only the government can.
If the situation were turned around, yes, maybe it would be smart for you to walk away from someone who lied to you, has a horrible problem she isn't dealing well with, physically attacked you and can't promise not to do it again in the future.