Books :)
Hey everyone, I am feeling better from yesterday, and some of today's ordeal. My head hurt pretty bad, and usually that is a sign for, yup you guessed it, a sign for a beer. I had to fight myself, my mind on not drinking, the voice was telling me: "Lie"; "It's okay to lie, liars get ahead in this world, look at Vic (Vic a young man who owns several businesses had told me to lie about my drinking)"; "Lie to your girl friend, she doesn't have to know"; "Lie to your psychiatrist so you can get meds and still drink".
My head was spinning like crazy, I was agitated, irritated, angry, walking around the room, then I Goggled "Lying to your psychiatrist about drinking" a SobberRecovery thread was the first search. I read it, and I read the guys problems and said, "Dude you don't have those problems, he has them worse. Lying isn't going to help and it might make you worse! Is that what you want? Don't you want to help your mom? Don't you want to give back to the women that has stuck by you no matter how stupid you been? If you want to stick around then don't lie. Tell the truth as you normally do. Be strong." Luckily, my mother also called me minutes after and hearing her sweet voice no matter how cranky I sound melts me to my knees. So she reinforced me without knowing it.
It's only been five days and these past two days have put me to the test. I guess it doesn't help I am approach my 10 day block I haven't been able to surpass. Half way there and the voice is already whispering, I hope it doesn't start yelling. I just want to do my freaking HW!!! lol Thats all. I have been coping by drinking tea and lemonade.