mistee

This last month and half has been so difficult for me i could just sit and feel sorry for myself for having my son in state temparoy care and i have decided to be in the solution that is all i can recommend to someone that is having a hard time with children and the states laws concorning there needs yes it was hard at first i had to pray for alot of acceptence then find strengh too courage came after to go after all the help i can get and sometimes hearing the truth about ur parenting issues is really hard even if they assume the worst in u i look at my son and my oldest being away right now as a learning lession and how to cope with my bipolar issues and to remain sober and not self harm or self medicate today
i talk almost daily with my therapist when this first happened sometimes i was totally gripped by the pain i had in my heart and the feelings of shame too but today i can look at it as a learning experience ihave enrolled in parenting classes and i have arranged for people to come to my home once a week or so to help me with my son when he comes home but that has to wait for now i now my higher power is giving me daily strengh to keep putting one foot in front of the other. going to meetings with attorneys and other social workers too that is hard but i am willing to be teachable when it comes to his needs i want to learn how to deal with him when he comes home and to me that is all a blessing yes i do have down days i would be lieing to myself if i said i was ok on a daily basises ladies some days i just dont feel like getting out of bed i must be in the solution if i want changes to be made :andy: and some days i just have to keep moving if i dont i sit and cry i know that is healthy but how many tears a person has can be hiting someone hard i have already helped a few people i have meet with the same issues as myself i have empowered myself to go take a risk sometimes even when it might entil someone getting in trouble at there job but i have been wronged in this matter with my son i told my attorney that i went to the governors advocate and he was vvery proud of my actions he said if u dont rely on ur insights sometime and have a heart to go stand up for what u believe in no one else will do it for me and then he told me with the actions he has seen it will be a total pleasure for me when the day the judge tells me my son and i can be together and with his big sister again too

hugs mistee
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