Thank you for the support, Mspink! I realized that I could use the techniques we were being taught in ALL my relationships and it was very helpful to see where I was going wrong.
This may not save my marriage, but I think it's helpful nonetheless. Now, if I could just convince the therapist to stay on topic regarding the drinking and the alcoholism problem with AH. Every time he brought it up, in various ways, we somehow wound up talking about something else. AH is quite good at manipulating conversations, he's one smart cookie.