Update on the marriage counseling
Hi guys, we had our 4th session with MT number 2. Some good things are coming out of it, some bad. Basically, I'm seeing my part and seeing where I am unwilling to accept a lot of his character traits and behaviors that have changed over the years.
It pretty much came out that he doesn't want to hear my stories like when I'm just trying to make basic conversation because he's not interested in them, and I don't want to hear him rail about the government and how he's paying for all the illegals, etc. All he wants to talk about is the state of our government and how awful life is or is going to be for all of us soon, and all I want to talk about is sharing my day and finding out about his. So, I guess we're at an impass, LOL.
As for the drinking, he and the therapist basically agreed that they have differing opinions over whether AH is an alcoholic. AH doesn't think he is(go figure) while the therapist thinks he needs outside help/counseling/etc. So, the therapist changed the subject and decided it was time for us to work on some communication skills. Honestly, I found these helpful. We did some role playing and brought up some things that were important. I saw where I make assumptions, where I set up my defenses, etc. Not sure what AH saw, but I felt good coming out of it. Well, let me rephrase this: I felt good about what I'm learning about me, not necessarily about our marriage. Still not sure what's going on with that. And, it turns out that AH took the money out of checking to buy 2 new tennis racquets. I still don't understand why he took the money out over such an extended period of time and I still don't feel like he's being 100% honest, but there's nothing I can do about it.
Anyway, I really felt that it was eye opening to see where I go wrong in communicating and I feel it gives me a springboard to learning more about myself. I've also been really working hard at getting into Codependent No More and she's brutally honest about what codies are like and the behaviors and attitudes that we have that are part of our downfalls/character flaws, etc. Very eye opening week for me. Can't say that AH is enjoying it.....oh well.