I'm in recovery, and I wouldn't expect everyone to alter their lives to suit me. If I felt I couldn't handle it (as I have in my early recovery) I wouldn't attend, and hope the host would understand. I was always very upfront about things, so I never had an issue with people getting offended. Also, no one ever offered to switch things around because of me, nor would I expect them to, and would feel on the spot if they did. (Oh, no liquor at the party? Why not? It was here last year. Well, Timmy just got of rehab, we don't want to encourage her. Oh, Okay. Then guess who the spotlight is on? Talk about a triggering situation! I would probably leave and get drunk!)
Thanksgiving is at my house usually, and while I will not serve alcohol, I won't mind if you bring it as long as you take it with you when you leave, and as long as you're not getting hammered. I am also five years down the line and it's easier for me.
A person's recovery is their responsibility. Unfortunately, unless the Volstead Act goes back into effect, we can't get away from alcohol. We have to learn how to co-exist. At least that's how I see things.