There you go...focus back where it belong...on YOU!
I understand completely wanting to sort out this pain, and focusing on her behavior. It's so easy to do, we make the mistake of looking at them to determine our own self worth. That's the path to depression.
No one person on this earth is the assessment of our worth. We must find self worth. It is a shaky quivering road. Alcoholics must go through the exact same process when they find sobriety or end a relationship.
Stand tall. Do not fear being alone. Embrace it for awhile. Ask that question--who am I, alone? And then prove yourself to yourself as a good person, achiever, and live that life you can be proud of.